While we are not all called to do the same thing, we are all certainly capable of doing something. Perhaps it could be said this way: You're either called to bring children into your home or you're called to serve and support those who do. So here's a visual to help us see some simple, unique and diverse ways that a community of people can wrap around and practically serve foster and adoptive families - and in so doing participate in their calling and responsibility to care for kids by serving and supporting the families who have brought them into their homes. - Jason Johnson
Over the last few weeks so many have reached out and shared their hearts with me. I completely understand that fostering is not for everyone. I do. Being brutally honest, Dave and I speculate that we are nearing the end of our fostering journey and praying for how God can use us still in the sense of supporting the foster system. That is still a big BUT, but lots of prayers and come to Jesus talks have been said in this home, the car, our offices, you name it, in the last few months.
So to answer the question of "How can I help?". I did a survey on a foster parent Facebook support group I'm in and these were some of the ideas that were listed:
* Meals! Yes, meals! When you get a new placement, it's like getting a new baby. You are exhausted yet running a million miles an hour. You are trying to bond, you are terrified and your family just grew overnight. Most people get 36-38 weeks to prepare for a new addition, with fostering you are sometimes lucky to get more than 36 minutes. (A teeny tiny bit of an exaggeration there, but not too far off)
* Babysitting/Respite. We need breaks. So often our own bio children and our own selves get lost in the midst of appointments, visits, court hearings, etc that we crash and crash hard. A night out does wonders for the soul.
* Groceries/Food. Contrary to the belief that foster parents make big bank, we don't. My 12 year old mini van is proof of that. Often times foster parents don't see a check for 2-3 months after getting a placement. When your family grows, your food budget grows, your utility bills grow, etc.
*Diapers/Wipes/Baby Items. These are a huge blessing and as you know a large expense for anyone. I've been so blessed with friends who loan us baby gear or give us baby gear and most of the time on spur of the moment notice.
*Gift cards. Need I say more? Actually, when I spoke with someone at the Children's Division, I asked what was most needed and gift cards were the response. A lot of times you get a placement so quickly that your first trip is to Walmart and it might just be in the middle of the night for anything and everything you can think of. These littles don't come with a suitcase packed full of nice, clean clothes, carseats, bottles etc. Side note….one of our placements smelled so badly that we were forewarned before transporting them home. I had to run to Walmart to stock up on children's soap, etc before going to pick them up. Poor Isaac. I remember my smell sensitive child putting the fakest smile on his face that night as we drove our little friend to our home with the windows down enjoying the October "breeze".
*Prayers/Words of Encouragement…reminders that we aren't crazy. That we are corrupting our own children. Reminders that we can do this even in the toughest of days. Don't tell us how crazy we are, tell us that we can do this. Tell us that it is going to be okay.
I found a blog that I'm really enjoying and he posted this the other day….
This is so true and so appreciated. Please know that this blog post from me isn't a ploy to get free stuff for us. To be honest, I don't write this for us as we have been so blessed, I write this to educate others. I wish I had known about the foster system years before I did. I wish I could have helped before we became foster parents. I look forward to the day when I am able to go clean a house for a tired foster mama or give the family a weekend off to just relax.
That, my friends, is how you can help.
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