Dear 2016,

It's been awhile since I've published a blog.   I have 3 drafts just sitting in my inbox but pushing the publish button on them never happened.   So here we are.

Dear 2016,
You were everything you promised and more.  You were hard.   You were ugly and you were full of surprises and not necessarily the good surprises.   But in the midst of the ugly, the tears, the heart break and the fears, you were doing something to me...to my family rather.   You broke our mold, you popped our bubble of comfort, and you stretched us.   You showed us that underneath the layers, there was potential.  Quite honestly, you gave us a year of growing pains...some that came with joy, but many that came with grumbling.  

You taught me that its okay to have a messy house, a sink full of dishes, and dust bunnies because only once in my life will I get to be the mom of a young child and because of that, legos trump dishes, basketball triumphs a clean house, and trips to sonic are going to be remembered more so than a house that looks pretty.  

You reminded me that I'm too quick to confide in others and that when my heart is heavy, I need to fall on my knees.   You showed me that in a season of loneliness, you are more than adequate.    You gave me hope on days when seeing the silver lining felt impossible.   You knit together a group of ladies that I can always count on to lift me up in prayer, even on the days when I'm at my ugliest.  
You gave me friends in places I'd never expect and you took away friends, I never imagined life without.  

You showed me/us, that we are not alone on this fostering journey, no matter how much it feels like it.   And on the days when I have been angry for allowing myself to be a part of this journey, you reminded me of how selfish I am and how much love I had to offer.   You showed us that life isn't about us, it isn't about being comfortable...rather it's about what I have to give.   You've taught me to let go and let God.    You've taught me rest and to stop and breathe because tomorrow is a new day, a new journey, and we never know what that will entail.    You've shown me that in the midst of tears, it is possible to find laughter.  

2016...I can't say I liked you or that I care to remember you but I can say you began to remold me into something better and my prayer is that over the course of 2017 I can see a teeny glimpse of your big picture for me. 

"For I am about to do something new."  Isaiah 43:19